FREE AT LAST! GREAT GOD A-MIGHTY! FREE AT LAST!
Yep, I did what I said I wouldn’t do! I bought my way out of jail! (Thanks to a couple of friends.) But before you start considering me a pushover and wimp, let’s see what happened.
Yes, the Judge did not like at all that I willfully disobeyed his orders back last July. I have no animosity toward him at all; that’s his job, although I strongly disagreed with his previous decision so much that I felt I had to finally raise a protest about his decision and all the past negative stuff that has happened. I knew he would have to do what he had to do.
Let’s review! Remember, for those of you who read the “Chapter 1” document posted first on this blog. Last July I was deemed to have made progress in payment, but “Mr. Hannaford, you have not made enough progress,” even though I had paid everything I could possibly pay. Fully expecting the Judge to say, “Come back 6 months from now, and let’s see if further progress can be made,” but without having to serve any further incarceration, I was totally dejected that the first part of this statement was true, but the second was not. (Also, 6 months turned into 8 months, because there was not a court date available.) I could have lived with that ruling: progress check, but without incarceration. That seemed prudent and reasonable enough.
Well, my friends, in essence that is where we are today. I had to pay what I would have paid the past 8 months anyway, although with additional and substantial fees for Julianne’s attorney. I could either pay or have a stay in the friendly confines (I do mean, “confines”) of the Cheatham County Jail for 6 months.
Yes, I could have stuck to my guns, despite the torrid torment that you perceive it to be, and could have managed quite well for six months. That’s not the problem. In fact, in some respects it is quite luring. However, there are other issues that supersede. Number one is my Mom. Having just moved into new quarters a week and half ago and into institutional living, she and her affairs still needed to be attended. Secondly, I didn’t want family and friends of mine to be encumbered with storage rentals, other bills, selling of vehicles, etc.
Thirdly, it is important to make an acute stand, which I did in the public way that I did, but it is also important to demonstrate that one does not have to be totally obstinate. Neither should the other side!
I still stand by the points made in my “Chapter 1.” There is still a cancer present that simply one more band-aid has been applied. As for me, I’m back where I was last July, perfectly willing and wanting to pay and help my ex-wife as much as I can, but without anymore incarceration on weekends, or otherwise. However, I profoundly still maintain that it is incumbent upon Julianne just as it is in any human, relational way, but especially as a Christian, to deal with me and anyone else reasonably, communicatively, and throw in a little compassion and understanding, too.
If she doesn’t want to do that, well, I think, she defines herself. If you say, “Well, that’s just the way the world is, good guys come in last,” I would say, “I do not subscribe or want to subscribe to that view.” Even though the amount of money is meager, (certainly we all need money) simple decency and human respect should not be thrown out the door as a wet dirty washrag, either.
Her attorney stated in court today, (paraphrasing) “She just wants her money and to be left alone.” I think that speaks volumes about an attitude that has been prevalent all along. I understand about emotions, not wanting to go out to dinner, or sit down over a cup coffee (although that is not an impossibility or an absurd idea), but to not communicate and to ambush at will with legal papers, I cannot respect. Well, o.k., if that is the way she wants to be. How is the best way to get your money? Legal bullying as a first resort, or perhaps decent, kind, respectful dealing?
I’m wiped out, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You have kept me going with your reaching out to me. Just your acknowledgements and concerns of my travails mean much to me. I am still going to write each of you who have reached out to me in the days ahead. There’s a lot; just be patient with me. Also, please understand why I have not been able to return calls and emails. I literally have been overwhelmed with only about 3-4 hours of sleep for the past week as I was taking care of so many details concerning the impending doom.
Obviously, I felt strongly about the situation. To do what I have done by the public writing and confession, but to back it up with concrete committed actions by moving my Mom to a home, and moving myself out supports how I felt truly led that this was the right thing to do, to raise a ruckus.
Because of this leading, I was forced—so to speak—to move my Mom. But, God moves in mysterious ways. The way the door opened to affordably get the living conditions she has is, in essence, a miracle. And now, it is a blessing! (Can you imagine the heart-wrenching good-bye I had with my Mom this morning not knowing my future, but feeling so strongly I could not go in there waving money to get myself immediately out of jail? I had to state my reasons before the court as I had done in my writings and accept the punishment that came.)
Many other people appeared and helped in a role that was customized for them. It has been truly amazing how I have gotten help in the most critical times and in the most overwhelming ways. I have so many people to thank.
Here’s just a few: my brother, Dave Hannaford, has been with me for a week working tirelessly in getting my Mom’s place completely vacated, getting me moved, and giving emotional sustenance just by his presence. Yesterday, my good buddies and dear friends, Tony Slayden and Neil Cumming, did the heavy lifting to get my furniture out of my apartment and into storage. Coming to help with the remains of moving (always more than you think) and to go to court with me today (although a number of others offered to do the same for which I am grateful) were Rick and Donna Johnstone from Atlanta. Dear friends they are to me and have gone with me three times to court since January 2009. There are money supporters that I have to acknowledge, but will not embarrass by mentioning them publicly here. I will try my best to thank them sincerely and meaningfully in a private way. Then, not the least, were many prayers and pray-ers lifting up both Julianne and me in this sad ordeal of divorce. (Don’t wish this on anyone!). The prayers were felt today and I think, for the moment, under the circumstances, that we are both satisfied with the answered prayers: that both sides can claim victory. That’s what I prayed for and asked others to pray the same. I do believe in prayer and loving action of the Almighty!
I will have further thoughts, some stories about jail, progress reports, etc. in the days ahead. Please, check in to the blog as you can. I do have to return to court in September for a review proceeding. I hope Julianne’s attorney can report to the Judge that I have made sufficient payment, and that I can report to the Judge that Julianne has not only communicated with me respectfully, but has been a positive instrument in promoting reconciliation with my daughter Elise Hannaford.
May we all bloom where we are planted!
